


For my only Love

by Marie_Ciel



Category: L'Arc~en~Ciel
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-11
Updated: 2012-02-11
Packaged: 2017-10-30 23:41:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/337495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marie_Ciel/pseuds/Marie_Ciel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tetsuya never believed in the concept of love... that is, until the night he wrote his first love song.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For my only Love

_I want to live each changing moment in those eyes._

It was amazing, how Hyde could write like that. As if he could hear those unwritten words recorded in the melody Tetsuya had penned.

The writing of the lyrics was, at least, nearly always left to the vocalist. Since he would have to sing them anyway, this would give him the chance to write something he could get comfortable with. And, beyond that, he happened to be a genius in the field.

Hyde could always come up with beautiful phrases, stunning everyone with his eloquence, depth of thought and even subtle honesty. But what never failed to amaze Tetsuya was how Hyde could read his melodies and find the unspoken stories in them.

The song had come to him in flashes of color and light, vague nothings seeping in from somewhere deep and unnamed in his subconscious. A dream- he had written it in a dream. At the mere recollection of its sound, he was gripped by it, obsessed with it. This song _meant_ something to him. Of course Tetsuya bore a special affection for all pieces he wrote, for he alone could appreciate the time put into them, but this one... this was different.

This was a love song.

There was something in that melody, those words written in the language of emotions that stirred something long left to slumber in his heart. He had written this song for the love of his life, the one he would spend the rest of his days with.

Yet-- and yet-- he did not know who this person was.

Tetsuya had strange views on this thing, this _love._ The romantic notions he possessed from childhood, when his mind was filled with the stories of finding one's true love at first sight, of fairytales and fables, had been distorted and twisted by the shock of reality. All in all, he had never felt he could completely trust this undefined notion.

He wasn't completely opposed to the idea of it- it seemed like a nice experience, or so the books and movies insisted. To find that one other person who completes you, who makes you whole, who fits with you perfectly like the final piece of your puzzle... No matter what Tetsuya might have said aloud, somewhere in the core of his being, he _wanted_ it. He wanted to love and be loved. And who could blame him? It is within the simplest base of the human psyche, to desire such a thing.

Yet at the same time, he pushed it away. He became skeptical of its reality. Love, like the fairytales of childhood, was subconsciously redefined as one of those things that would be quite nice if it was real, but simply did not exist in real life. Tetsuya was surrounded by things that were labeled as "love", but did not fit his image of what it should be. Many of his friends claimed to "love" their partners, yet would end up separating less than a year later. Those unions that did last longer seemed to be riddled with unfortunates- arguments, disagreements, slammed doors and tearful eyes. How could this be love? Tetsuya did not want this false concept of love- merely putting up with another person for a time until one became bored or resentful and moved on. No; he decided instead he would have nothing to do with it. He would never have a serious relationship, he would never marry, and love-- love was a fantasy.

Tetsuya permitted himself to date a few people here and there, but nothing ever became love. All efforts were ultimately in vain. It always ended with a feeling of being used or dropped for something better. And so, Tetsuya never fell in love. After some time of this, he became rather convinced he never would.

Until the night he composed his first love song.

Tetsuya lay in his bed, his sanctuary and place of peace, tears spilling from his eyes and cascading down his cheeks. Each breath shook, sometimes becoming an airy sob. That simple melody, an invention of a dream, brought on an unstoppable torrent of emotions he had never realized he was withholding. The stopper he had so carefully placed in his heart suddenly burst, releasing years' worth of suffering, longing, joy... _love._

Now he knew that the illusion of love was not so. It had to be a reality, for he felt it living and breathing inside of him. This song, what came to be known as "Hitomi no Jyuunin", he knew to be the song for his only true love. Now he was sure there was someone existing in the world that did complete him, someone he would throw away his life for and hand over his heart to.

This song was written for someone he had never met.

So he became determined to find that person. Someday, he was sure, the paths they walked upon in their separate lives had to cross. Tetsuya had never been a believer in the notion of fate, but this single event, this melody, managed to make a convert of him. From the moment he stepped into this world, he had been set upon a predetermined path, one that led directly to one encounter. Perhaps he could not know when it was coming but when it did happen, when he laid eyes upon that person... he would know.

Beyond a doubt, he could be sure of that one thing.


End file.
